The Truth about Balance
By: Raychel Chumley
Do you dream of the days where you’ve done everything well in your life and nothing is falling behind or neglected? You are not alone! Balance seems to be a universal goal. But, what is it about balance that makes it so elusive and unreachable? Is there something we are missing when it comes to applying balance in our lives successfully?
Years ago, when I was just launching my first coaching business, I asked this question on Facebook, “What area of your life would you most like to receive help in?” The answers shocked me! 100% of the women answered with this option- “Balance and learning how to be a better wife and mother.” I remember being stunned that so many women felt at a loss for how to balance their lives.
Well, actually, I was horrified. How in the WORLD was I going to help these ladies find balance when I couldn’t seem to find it myself at that point in my life? After I got over my panic, I started to think about what the word “balance” actually means. Long before Big Blue Couch® was even a thing I was using words to help me create my reality 😉
- A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
- Something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.
- Mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior,judgment, etc
According to Webster one of the definitions of the word balance means, “Mental and emotional steadiness.” I’m sure this definition is not the one that pops into your head when you think of the word balance. If I was a betting woman I would say your definition goes something like this… “Balance means I give 100% of myself to my husband, my children, my work, my home, my church, and my hobbies, while still fitting in friendships and making sure no one feels neglected or forgotten.”
Am I close? Forget about even adding yourself to the list…who has the time? No wonder we never find that fantasy land called Balance! No one could accomplish all that! It doesn’t help that you constantly compare your life to that super woman down the street. Or, that crafty woman who house looks like your “someday” Pinterest board.
The truth is what balance is for one person might be chaos for you.
You are looking for balance in YOUR life-not someone else’s. Maybe you believe that if you just better manage your time you will someday find balance. Or, that when x, y, z happen your life will be magically balanced. Yes!
That might be true to an extent. You might need to get some skills to help you manage your time better; and, find the accountability you need to say “no” to the things you should be saying no to. Or you might need a good Spring cleaning to clear out the clutter in your house.
But, we run into issues when we assume balance only has to do with our jam packed schedules, our never ending to-do lists, and or our current busy lifestyles. It doesn’t! These are all outward expressions of a bigger problem. Could it be your life feels and looks out of balance because your emotions and mental state are out of balance?
The truth is a strong & steady heart and mind will lead to a balanced life.
If your emotions and mind are frazzled and unbalanced your life will be shaky and unsteady. Balance is not a time problem… it is a priorities problem.
Balance is not a state you finally reach. It is the choices you make on a daily basis to be mentally and emotionally stable no matter your circumstances. If you have not figured out how to be content, stable, and balanced in your current circumstances you are not likely to find it in a different set of circumstances.
Balance is about your priorities. We will miss it if we don’t challenge the idea that balance has to do with our time management or our circumstances. Balance is a reflection of what is going on inside your heart and spirit.
First things first…
If balance is a goal of yours, and you long for the days when you don’t feel like your running around with your hair on fire, it’s time to take action. First things first, assess how you are doing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Find what makes you strong, steady, and stable in your heart and mind and THEN apply that to your daily life. Balance is not elusive or unreachable. When you successfully create balance in one area of your life you can successfully create it in all areas of you life.