Stepping into Confidence
2017 is fast approaching, with that comes the year I’ll turn 30. I know that for some women 30 seems like a daunting number, to others they feel their 30’s were the best years of their lives. Being the youngest of my circle of friends, I look forward to my 30’s. I spent most of my youth trying to be someone I wasn’t. Confidence wasn’t something I had back then.
I never realized in high school that my friends loved me for the authentic parts of myself that I am still carrying into my 30’s. My love for books, my love for music, and my inability to say no to a 30 second dance party. Parts of me are still that girl, but there are parts of me that I am carrying into 2017 that I’ve fought for, strived for, and are continually trying to enhance. One of those things is confidence.
I am going to be honest. I still struggle with confidence, but on a scale of 0-100, I’ve improved in the subject of self-love a good 92%. (That’s an actual figure that I skillfully calculated over the last 29 years.)
When we are at live events for Big Blue Couch Coaching, almost always we are asked how to build self-confidence. For some that means building confidence in who God says we are, for others it’s building confidence in our skills, and for others it’s learning how to love ourselves and our bodies, in a world that is constantly reminding us what ideal beauty should look like.
As a plus size woman, I find that when I am in a room of women, it’s easy for me to regress back to the younger teen version of my self-loathing self. “I am too fat to have a voice,” are the kind of words that repeat in my head before every event; however, I have learned that those kind of thoughts, are planted by the enemy to scare me out of God’s purpose in my life. Over the years I’ve learned how to control these thoughts with biblical Truths, or even ask for prayer from those who know I struggle with these type of thoughts. I wanted to share several things I do that help me feel confident, when I need to tap into the strong courageous women I was designed to be.
Did you know that smiling releases endorphins? Yup! And if there is one thing we can all learn from Legally Blonde, it’s that “endorphins make you happy, happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” It also boosts confidence, because smiling can actually change your stress levels, and boost positive thoughts.
Listen to songs that empower you.
You think Ronda Rousey steps into a UFC match without pumping herself up to some hard core adrenaline inducing music? Music got me through nursing school.
I used to tell my classmates I was having a dance party in the hall before class started and anyone was welcome to join. I aced those tests every time, both by being prepared and pumping myself up for victory.
Imagine Dragons has a song called Warriors that will literally make you feel like you’re ready to take on the devil. (Or at least that is what it does for me, and let’s face it some days we do have to take on the devil. At least we can have a great soundtrack to go along with it. )
Wear clothes that make you feel brave.
Ok, hold up. I know this sounds weird, but you know what they say about dressing like the job you want to have. Who wants to have the job of being the most confident woman in a room? Me! I have a collection of black leather boots that make me feel like I could take on Darth Vader himself. These boots were made for walking my friends, walking like the daughter of the Most High King! That’s confidence!
Walk with a purpose…and confidence
Walking with purpose basically just means to be motivated to get where you’re going. I am a nurse. Nurses walk with purpose, mainly because we have a billion lists in our heads of things that need to be accomplished, but also because we probably have to pee very badly. Either way, it motivates those around you to look at what drives you. I walk with purpose in the mall because Kiosk workers are like glitter, once they get ya, they are hard to get rid of. So that in itself sold me.
Do something that scares you.
I have been known to daydream about cage diving with great white sharks. Why? Because sharks scare the pants off of me! I figure if I can overcome the fear of swimming with sharks, what is to hold me back from doing anything else that scares me?
I took a job a year ago that scared me. It meant swaying from the comfortable 9-5 hours, to traveling around the state and being in charge of my own work schedule. It meant driving to places I’ve never been and stepping into a leadership role I wasn’t sure I was ready for. Turns out it still scares me with every new nursing facility I go to, but with the fear comes empowerment when I can clock out after 12 hours and know I rocked it!
What is scaring you? Do you wonder if the fear is worth embracing and overcoming? What if in a year from now you did what scared you and it was the boost you needed to discover just how much of an overcomer you are?
Learn to say NO…without apologizing.
This one literally saved my life. I care what people think of me; I don’t like letting people down. But the truth is, when we get asked to do something that requires time and energy we don’t have, we’re not doing anyone any favors. We’re setting ourselves up for a burnout. Start allowing yourself to say, “Maybe not this time, I already have prior engagements.” Without the word “sorry” attached and watch the world open up to bigger and better opportunities that you will have actual energy for!
Surround yourself with things you love.
I love books. Recently, I reached my goal of reading 200 books this year. I set the goal big because when I read I’m a better person. I’m more creative in my writing. I’m more alert then I am if I’m on my phone. I am more alive because reading makes me happy. Confident people are the kind of people who feel alive; they breathe thankfulness and exhale excellence, because they know what makes them happy.
So if painting is something you love to do…paint. If it’s reading, read. If its collecting those tiny spoons with all 50 states on them, go get ‘em sister. But it’s time we all take a look in the mirror and realize that we are worth it. We are worth surrounding ourselves with things that make us happy.
You’re worth it because God says you were beautifully and wonderfully made. He designed you with a purpose and dream, and no one else is able to do it quite like you can.
Bonus tip: When all else fails have another coffee… Worked for the Gilmore Girls.
Madison Moericke (Miss Maddie) is a Writer, Blogger, and Travel Nurse. She currently holds the honorable title of “Keeper of the Couch”. Miss Maddie is Mandy & Raychel’s BFF and she loves coffee, Taylor Swift, and calls herself a true Hufflepuff. She lives in Bismarck with her husband and daughter.