Having the Courage to Let it Go

Have the Courage to Let it Go

by: Raychel Chumley

Let it go. Arguably one of the hardest phrases in the English language. When you’ve been hurt by someone you love and respect, the last thing you want to do is just let it go. They need to know they hurt you. They need to feel remorse. They owe you apology. You are upset, you dig in your heels, and you refuse to let it go. Justice must be served!

Maybe you’ve been hurt by a trusted co-worker, a close friend, a respected leader, or a much loved family member and no matter how much time has passed the wound is still raw. The relationship is broken, or barely holding on, but you are not sure how to forgive someone who doesn’t seem sorry. The closer you are to the person the more it hurts. The longer the rift goes on the more toxic the relationship becomes.  

Do you know what not letting it go is called? It’s revenge.

Yuck. I know. I totally just went there. But it’s true. I was once consumed by revenge. (and pride if I’m being honest) The person that hurt me was my husband. I wasn’t about to let it go and I tried to make him suffer for years trying to prove my point. For YEARS! The sad thing is eventually my un-forgiveness and my bitterness started to poison the entire family. I had to let it go.

I know what you’re thinking, “But Raychel, if I just forgive _______ (Insert name here) and let it go won’t I be letting them off the hook?” Heck no! They know. You know. They know you know. And, most of all God knows. Letting it go didn’t mean I was letting my husband off the hook. Trust me his guilt and my pain was enough. But, letting it go meant I was loving him the way Jesus loved me. 

Letting it go means having the courage to place the revenge back in God’s hands where it belongs. It means the courage to be vulnerable with someone who hurt you deeply, and will probably hurt you again in the future. For me, it meant the courage to hold tight to the promise God gave me back in 2008 that He was going to reach Brandon if I would just “Get out of the way.”

My Jesus has forgiven me for so much. Learning to let it go was a big pill to swallow… but it wasn’t impossible. For you letting it go might mean having the courage to forgive even when the apology doesn’t come. For you letting it go might mean loving your husband the way God loves you…just like it did for me. Having the courage to let it go is one of the healthiest and most loving things you can do for your marriage. Can I encourage you today to take one step that helps you unclasp your hands, open your heart, and let it go.

~Coach Raychel