Learning How to Trust Again
By Joette Knapp
“God can be trusted, and He chose you to be partners with His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Corinthians 1:9
Healthy relationships require trust. It is a fundamental need to trust someone when you want a deep and meaningful relationship. But, what happens when that trust is broken? How do you rebuild it after someone destroys it?
For many, the deepest level of trust will be when you give your heart to your spouse and pledge to love until death parts you. You trust your spouse completely and without a doubt. There’s no reason not to! But, quicker than you might think there will come a day when the person you have shared your inner soul with will break your trust. It could be as simple as lying to you about something …or as devastating as walking away from the marriage.
When trust is broken, life as you know it changes forever. For me my life changed forever when my first husband left. Not just in all the obvious ways but also because I discovered I could no longer trust another human being quite the same way. Something changed inside of me that couldn’t be repaired by anyone.
I trusted my first husband completely because my experience up to then had been that people were trustworthy. Sure there had been the occasional mean person along the way, but nothing that made much of an impression on me. Until. The. Divorce. It was then that I discovered that the marriage I thought we had wasn’t the one we actually had. My ability to trust another man was destroyed as the promises that were made were all broken. Words were just words and when they had no substance to them.
It took many years to learn how to trust again. But I did it…and you can too! Here are two things I learned along the way:
1. I could trust God.
I learned that while I could not put my trust in my spouse I could put my trust in my God. Only my God has promised to never leave me or forsake me and kept His Word. By putting my trust completely in Him, I was able to take the focus off of myself and others and put it on Him. Only He is trustworthy 100% of the time. But God manifests His faithfulness through His Son, Jesus, whose life was an example of faith and trust. Jesus comes into our life through our faith in Him and He is completely faithful and trustworthy and a lot of hard work in everything.
2. It takes a lot of hard work.
People will fail you, promises will be broken, words will hurt, and actions will shock you. You lose the ability to trust others. If you are willing to trust God and let him heal the broken places in your heart you can learn to trust again. Through Him you can rebuild your trust in mankind again. Through Him you will regain your trust in yourself so that you can move on.
Learning how to trust again isn’t easy. It will require you to be brave and trust God when you are hurt and broken hearted. It will take a lot of hard work. But in the end you will learn to trust yourself and trust so you can live a life that is vibrant and fulfilling.