A few weeks ago I prayed this prayer…
“God, I just want to quit. I am tired and this is too hard. You promised if we walked by faith and started this company you would bless us and increase our influence. I don’t see that today. I don’t think you are following through on your end of the bargain and we are working so hard and seeing so little. So. I quit. At least for tonight.”
I bet that surprises you. I bet you thought you were the only one who gets mad at God and wants to quit when life gets too hard. I bet you thought surely this girl has it all together and never doubts or questions her strength or her faith.
You are not alone! Some days I barely have it together, too. This really was how I felt a few weeks ago. I was ready to quit on the dream I’ve fought so hard for.
I have moments where I can’t see the path I’m supposed to walk and fear takes over. I have moments where the work load is too daunting and I want to give up because my endurance wears thin. The truth is my soul was weary. My spirit gets tired and my faith gets weak.
A few days ago, Mandy and Madison (aka Miss Maddie) and I were on our way home from a speaking engagement in Carrington, ND. When we left that gorgeous small town in Northeast ND the fog was just starting to roll in. About 30 minutes later, we couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of us. We had to drive so slow that what should have been a 2 hour trip turned into a 3.5 hour trip where we inched along the highway praying for Jesus to take the wheel. It was the kind of night that makes you regret reading all that teen fiction you love because all you can think about it is what kind of creature might be lurking in the mist LOL.
I tell you that story because that thick misty fog is very real illustration of what walking by faith feels like to me. I don’t always see the full path. I don’t always feel ready to step into the unknown. I get scared because there is so much I don’t see or understand in the shadows. The truth is, I rarely see anything but what is right in front of me in life. I’m learning that is exactly how it’s supposed to be sometimes. I’m learning it’s in those moments of fear and doubt that I find out how strong my faith is.
Faith is taking that next step in front of you, even when you are surround by the fog of doubt and fear.
Can I just encourage you that if you find yourself in a foggy season right now; and, all you can see is a few feet around you- that it is OK. Don’t look around you and get scared. Don’t let the inability to see the whole picture swallow you in doubt. Don’t let the fog distract you from the provision that is right in front of you.
How strong is your faith? It’s time to believe that God is showing you the exact right place to put your foot in the midst of the fog. You just have to walk forward. You can do it!