Has Feminism Killed Chivalry?

And, if the feminist movement has killed chivalry have we all lost something in the process? 

In 2016, we have evolved into a society that is now offended by everything. Especially, the differences between a man and woman. Men are offended, women are offended, maybe someday our pets will be offended. Instead of being offended and separated by our differences why don’t we try and unite behind them? 

When I was growing up I was taught that you held the door open for a woman. My mom would wait for me by the car or the entrance to the grocery store so that I could practice and it would become second nature to me. I especially liked it when the door was heavy and I got to show off my strength. I also loved it when others would take notice and tell my mom how polite I was and that she was raising a fine young gentleman. That would make me beam with pride.

This leads us into the point I’m trying to make. Not once did I question my mother’s strength and tell her she wasn’t strong enough to open the door herself. Not once did I question my mother’s intelligence and explain to her how a door works. Not once did I question my mother’s fortitude and accuse her of being lazy. Instead it was a simple gesture I could do to show my mom, and all women, respect.

Is this an analogy of modern feminism?

I think so. Does the princess in the fairy-tale need to be saved? Probably not. I bet we could come up with a new tale where the princess has amazing skills with a bow and a sword and she uses those skills to save a prince from a fiery dragon. My daughter would love that story, but it also misses the point.

The point is validation. The prince needs a princess to save. (Or a door to hold open) Seriously, we do. Most men, if their honest, would say they need validation in their life. The best place to get that validation is from the women in their lives. We need to show you we are strong, not to put you down, but to build us up. It’s how we feel loved. 

I can’t take all the credit for all these insights; and, I implore you to read John Eldredge’s book Wild at Heart. It is an incredible look into masculinity and femininity. It helped me understand our gender roles and why they are so important in today’s society. 

Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not blind. Are there wage gaps? Of course, there are. Does sexism and misogyny exist? Of course, it does. What I’m saying is, completely taking the man out of the picture is not going to help either.

If feminism killed chivalry, I think both men and women lost something in the battle. BOTH feminism and chivalry win when we work together. We can have both. We need both. I want my daughter to be the type of woman who is strong enough to slay the dragon, but vulnerable enough to know when it’s OK to be rescued.

~Lance

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